Story of a Book Never Read
About 40 years ago, I learned of or watched a documentary about the writing of a book I have never read, and it has stuck with me.The book in question was Malcolm Lowry’s “Under The Volcano.” I did a bit more research now, to confirm the details. Lowry, a brilliant writer and serious alcoholic, began writing the book in 1936. He lost his manuscripts several times, and it was destroyed by fire at least twice, mainly due to dubious decisions Lowry made and consequences that followed.
What amazes and encourages me is that Lowry never gave up. Under The Volcano was finally published in 1947, more than a decade after he began writing it. Publishing the book did not substantially change Lowry’s life – he still died in squalor, under questionable circumstances. However, that book, which emerged from his mind and his own living hell, had been important enough to him that he saw it through, despite his many setbacks.
The story of Lowry writing and getting his book published matters more to me than the book itself.
I cannot compare myself to Lowry, neither in circumstances nor in giftedness. The story of the writing of his book, however, encourages me to also not give up.
I have been very lucky, or blessed, in many ways. I’m very happy with so much of what my life experience has been. What does gnaw at me, however, is that I, too, have unfinished projects that have occupied my mind for many years. It took far too long for me to recognize the significance of my ADHD on my work habits, and to find ways of successfully and efficiently completing important tasks. I feel like I’m ready to take the next steps, now. I’m almost 60 years old now, and every time it seems that there’s opportunity on the horizon to take the time to complete the projects that I have begun and worked on in discrete pieces, the timeline gets pushed back. We have to move, or health issues arise, or other unexpected events require a reshuffling of priorities.
It is possible that I may never finish these projects that I have set out to do. There are more important things to attend to than my books or my music. However, I take solace and encouragement from the fact that Malcolm Lowry faced greater obstacles than I, and went through more hardship than I ever have, and he kept returning to the manuscript that was eventually published, and which became his masterpiece. On some level, Lowry must have felt that his persistence and determination was worthwhile. Given the opportunity, I hope to do the same.
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