Commentary For A Future Olympic Sport

“Bill Erfsnog and Teresa Fillypogget here, covering the very first Olympic Epiglottal Shmergmakking.”

Bill; “Teresa, ES has been growing in popularity all around the world over the past 2 and a quarter years, and there’s no doubt of the vestigiousness of these athletes.”

Teresa; “Kudos to the Olympic committee, Bill, for double-strafing the compompom and showing that the modern Olympics is relevant to what’s really happening around the globe.”

Bill: “Teresa, you’ve perped the elliglabbit there. Excammating the poofalfabbit has become mainstream, and everyone knows exactly what it means to eeplehaggit the plampf.”

Teresa: “Our first competitors are stanleyking to the crapplepottom now, awaiting the starting pifflecup.”

Bill: “And there they go! Oooh what a glorious shnerpenpeef out of the epselblommet from Flackselstan! How can anyone else respond to that?”

Teresa: “The style points there could oomple the kleekanbassen, for sure! But wait? Ohh, we’re coming up to the poffalfabbit, and there’s a tight race to the plampf….”

Bill: “They’ve Excammated the poofalfabbit flawlessly… Oh no! Peevilken has frottercised. Now it’s a 3 shneepen epfilly!”

Teresa: “All 3 have negurciated the Plampf, but only Flackselstan has done a full eeplehaggit…”

Bill: “Flackselstan replaggelates Purfen and Oobletrausen simultaneously! That will be a DQ for Flackselstan.”

Teresa: “Purfen and Oobletrausen are both down… the winner will be whichever one tumbles and slides through the sickeepenickee first… and it’s… Oobletrausen!”

Bill: “Medics and medals arrive at the bottom of the Berfian together. There’s Oobletrausen in a stretcher is at the top of the podium. For the silver, there’s Purfen in their stretcher. And Peevilken is limping half-merkenshnooped to the bronze.”

Teresa: “It’s a repeat of the World Championship Epiglottal Shmergmakking, and the powerhouse represented by Oobletrausen retains their top status.”

Bill: “That’s all from Ikselboog. Back to you, Purvy!”