Calling Time Out
When I was 10 years old, a year was the same as forever. Of course, when you’re 10 years old, a lot happens in a year – you grow, maybe you move or your friends move, maybe you’re going to a new school, to middle school. A lot can happen, very quickly – a year is dense with growth and experiences.
For a 50-year-old, especially a 50-year-old with stable employment, in a stable relationship, one year might seem pretty much like another. Sometimes it might feel like you blinked, and 2 years passed.
For an 85-year-old, the years that passed might seem to have gone by in a moment. Depending on the recent experience of that 85-year-old, though, time might seem very precious indeed.
The value of time can differ, depending on the proportion of time lived, the experiences one has had, and one’s impression of how much time you have left. What can you do in the time that you have?
I don’t want to rush children out of their childhood. The feeling of having all the time in the world – that is a treasure in itself. For those of us who are older, when we impose the sense of impending responsibility (doom?) on those who are young, we’re really encroaching on their lives with our own anxieties. It isn’t the fault of the kids when the functions of the world don’t align with their developmental processes.
So much of kindness involves giving people time – time to process, time to grieve, time to get where they need to go. So much of anxiety involves time pressures. When we acknowledge and deal with our own anxieties, we might be more able to be kind.
To some extent, being organized and prepared and ready may contribute to a sort of kindness; when we are ready to go to a place ahead of time, it means that we can have greater perspective, and perhaps feel more able to stop and help others along the way, when they seem to need it. We have time to give, when we are prepared to effectively take the time we have.
This is the time I have, at 1 a.m. tonight, to write down these musings. Now, it’s time for me to get back to bed. Good night!
